she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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