i need an iv and a liver transplant
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this just has baby written all over it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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