we're blogging at a bar
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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