420 ftw
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
