Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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