We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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