Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
