she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
