i barfeds in our rink
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
