I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Drunk walkin through police station. America
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
