dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He felt like a one man threesome
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
