You're a womanizer and a bitch.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
