I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
