I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
