I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
