when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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