I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
