he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
