strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
smell my finger.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
