im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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