You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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