Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
