things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
