just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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