I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize