dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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