he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
