So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
