I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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