Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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