i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
