Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
