I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
