But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
