I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
