before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
