do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
