I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We are two peas in an std pod
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
