Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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