I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
