never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
