I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
