so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
