break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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