Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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