Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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