Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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