So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
