No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
