I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
